


Reconciliation

by Misttiique



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, But with a happy ending, Canon Compliant, Fix-It, Heavy Angst, M/M, Post S8, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 20:25:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17270552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misttiique/pseuds/Misttiique
Summary: “Hey, I really appreciate you being here, even after everything,” Shiro says from behind him.Keith turns around slowly. “Oh, it’s nothing.”Nothing had split his heart into two, like his increasing distance from Shiro.“Thank you too, for everything. And being so supportive of this wedding,” Shiro continues. Keith can hear him take a step closer to him and holds his hand up, giving a signal to stop, as if they were on a mission.“And also, for always being— ”“Shiro, you should be getting back to your wedding party,” Keith cuts him off. His heart is breaking and the alcohol is making his emotions more volatile than they are.“If you’re happy, then I’m happy. You should go back to your husband,” Keith advises, his voice is ice cold. He’s trying his best to believe exactly what he’s saying.“Okay,” Shiro replies. He doesn’t push Keith. He knows when to draw the line because even when more lines are drawn, there’s always space to draw more. It’s something he’s learnt over the last year. He hesitates, as he always does, but takes a step backwards.





	Reconciliation

_ 14/2/2118 _ __  
__  
_ Hunk: _ __  
_  
_ __ Keith, how are you, man? Wow, it's hasn't been the same without you here. Earth's been peaceful and so, has the planets in her surroundings, but maybe you already knew that because the blade knows everything… It's been too long since the team has been together… if you're ever back on earth, let's get together sometime…

__  
_ 18/6/2119 _ __  
__  
_ Pidge: _ __  
__  
_ Hey Keith, I know it's been a while since I've seen you. I'm really happy with the work that the Blade of Marmora is doing. But…I  actually kinda miss that mullet of yours. Let me know when you're home, I need someone to tell my conspiracy theories to… _ __  


__  
_ 14/12/2119 _ __  
__  
_ Lance:  _ __  
__  
_ Keith, I hope you're coping well with… everything. A lot has happened and I get if you want to be alone right now… Hope you're doing okay, man… Let me know if you need anything… _ __  
__  


_ 17/9/2120 _ __  
__  
_ Hunk: _ __  
__  
_ Keith, it's so great to hear about the new BoM centre on that new planet. Earth could use something like that sometime… anyway, we've been coping well here — Pidge, Lance, Shiro and I send you our best and hope you're doing okay too.  _ __  
__  


_ 20/9/2119 _ __  
__  
_ Pidge: _ __  
_  
_ __ Hey Keith, there are so many new discoveries lately, it's been so crazy. I wish you were here so I could tell it to you and if you knew about it now, you would combust — literally… We're all doing well here. Hunk's with me in the labs and he flies around the world with his culinary team. Lance's still on the farm but he's getting around. Shiro's, well, Shiro is just Shiro, so nothing much except that he's happy with the bliss of married life… I may be dropping by a BoM station soon, so maybe I'll see you around?

__  
_ 3/9/2020 _ __  
__  
_ Lance: _ __  
__  
__ Keith, how have you been? I've been well and I'm actually helping out with Pidge's research and the new Galaxy Garrison. Who knew I could end up teaching there? The team is well and they're worried about you. Maybe, you haven’t gotten our messages yet but, yeah let us know if you're still out there? You're making me worry and I don't like that but Keith Kogane has a way of doing things. Anyway, good luck with all the new missions…   
  
Those were the messages Keith had received but he didn’t reply to any of them. Not one. He should have, he tells himself, but he'd waited and procrastinated until it had become too weird to reply back. His friends were worried about him, which he knows, but he just couldn't reply back. He'd think it'd feel too weird to say something back, like a blast from the past but an unwanted one. Time has a funny way of moving; it'll trickle away like droplets falling on a rock as it tries to put a dent in it; other times it's faster than going through a wormhole into another reality. Regardless, time passes.    
  


_ 13/12/2023 _

_ Lance: _

__  
_ Keith, it's been, what, 5 years since we saved the entire universe and all its realities? The team and I hope you're doing alright. We're really proud of what you and the BoM have achieved. The real reason I'm writing this was that everyone would be coming back to earth tomorrow to celebrate the fifth anniversary of saving the universe and it would be nice, for everyone and me, if you could be there with us. I owe you a lot for helping me after Allura left and I know she would want you to be there with us to commemorate her anniversary too. I guess the team and I both hope to see you there… _ __  


  
The sharp ping startles Keith as he packs his belongings. He's done a lot with Zethrid, Ezor and Acxa as the Blade of Marmora provides humanitarian aid throughout the universe, allowing civilizations to be reformed and people put back together. He's proud of everything that they have accomplished so far.   
  
Tomorrow, they'd leave for Yalux to help for a couple of months; after that, it’s Lutef and another planet in the fourth quadrant, and the list goes on. Keith reads the message and sighs to himself.    
  
The laughter from the tent next to his distracts him. He turns his head to its direction, realizing it's Zethrid and Ezor's tent. On missions like this, the BoM camp at their destinations. It’s no life of luxury but Keith finds it worthwhile.    
  
Zethrid and Ezor have each other and even Acxa has Veronica back on Earth. However, Keith's priority is the mission and it's been his priority since he had left Earth. He'd want nothing more than it because that’s his life's purpose, or so he convinces himself. That  _ is _ why he left Earth in the first place, and he was 99.9% certain that there was no other reason.    
  
In the morning, Acxa tells him that she's going to go back to earth for a little while to see Veronica and Zethrid and Ezor would also like to visit earth. Keith is a fair leader, after all, so he knows how hard the team has worked and knows when they need a break. It would be good for the team, he thinks, and if everyone is going, it would be odd if he didn’t come too. After all, he was the leader of Voltron.   
  
He bites his lip, remembering the message from Lance.  _ Sure, why not go back for the anniversary. Maybe, I'll even get some closure and after that, we'll be on our way; far away from Earth again.  _ __  
  
\--------   
  
Earth's gravity tugs on his heart as their ship lands. He remembers the feeling of the sun on his face, the feeling of the ground underneath his feet. Even the air is moving differently than the oxygen in his suit.   
  
He dresses simply, with a signature red jacket and boots, as if he's becoming the old Keith Kogane again. He's the last one to enter the ballroom of the hotel that the reunion is being held in. Everyone rushes in, excited at the thought of being together again and remembering old faces and pasts that they had hoped they'd never forget.    
  
Not Keith Kogane. It should be a great and honourable thing to save the universe and realities but there are times that Keith wishes that he didn't. Sacrifices had to be made and every single one of them was worthwhile but there are times that Keith wishes he didn't. Things had progressed for the better and so had everyone else but at times Keith wished they didn't.    
  
He hesitates when he has one arm on the knob of the ballroom's doors. By now, everyone has entered and he's alone in the foyer of the hotel.  _ The faster this is over, the faster I can get out of here, _ he thinks, breathing deeply and pushes open the doors.    
  
Keith finds himself engulfed in embraces as people swarm him with greetings and hugs. His old team grapples him in tight bear hugs, but Shiro is nowhere to be found. Pidge talks non-stop about the discoveries, Hunk explains about how food brings everyone together and how he's been using that concept through the universe and Lance pats his back and catches him up to speed on most things happening. He exhales a huge sigh of relief once the team has had enough of his attention and heads to the bar.    
  
He's alone as everyone chats with everyone else. He orders a drink followed by another, attempting to calm his nerves. He hasn’t spotted Shiro anywhere and that is the best thing he's experienced all evening.    
  
There's a hand on his back and Keith freezes. His eyes widen and nearly spits out his drink — but it’s Lance’s voice. Keith breathes a sigh a relief, shoulders relaxing as he swallows, but he doesn't feel the fire of the alcohol down his throat.    
  
"Scared me for a second," Keith says after he's gained back his composure.    
  
"After everything we've been through, that's what you're afraid of?" Lance replies. He orders a shot and chugs it down immediately.    
  
"I thought you were okay," Keith says, after a while. "Why the need for that?"   
  
"I am okay. It's just with everyone around, it brings back some memories. You know what I mean?"   
  
"Yeah," Keith answers and orders a few more shots.    
  
"I never got around to thanking you for everything you did. You really helped a lot, Keith."   
  
"I'm sorry I left too soon."   
  
"No, it’s okay. I know you needed to leave. But you could’ve at least told us you were okay after all those messages. We were worried but we knew you know how to take care of yourself. The Blades are doing a lot of good, that's mission accomplished for you, right?"   
  
"I know, I know… But I mean, you know how it was for me, right? I guess helping people was important and still is my number one priority. It felt… I don't know… weird I guess talking to everyone again. It just didn’t feel right coming back to earth right away. I just kinda… had to clear my head… get some space… "   
  
"It's alright. After Allura…I needed some space too. But I've made my peace with it now. I should let you know though… he's here."   
  
The  _ he _ doesn't have to be mentioned for Keith to start ordering more shots for them. He loses how many shots he's had because even the alcohol had lost its fire in him with the fire burning in his heart.    
  
"Just as long as he doesn't see me, that's good. You remember what happened on that night, right?"   
  
"Keith, you don't have to remind me. It was the night you left,  _ duh _ , of course, I remember it. He still asks about you though. He's asked everyone, I think. Most people heard about what happened — someway or another. Him asking about you shows,  __ no, it means something. "   
  
"Yeah, so let's not talk about it. You know why I left Earth and never came back."   
  
"I do. There have also been some new developments with him, but I’m not sure if you would care anymore," Lance offers, glancing at him from the side. 

“No, I don’t wanna know and don’t wanna care,” Keith says, staring into his drink as if it were the abyss before emptying it. 

“Fine,” Lance answers flatly, knowing how hard it is to change Keith's mind about something once it was set on it. He turns to around to face the party but spins back around immediately. 

"Shit… shit… he's heading in our direction. You should talk to him, you know, after all this while. Clear the air a bit. He's worried about you too. But knowing you too well, you're not ready to talk to him yet." Lance sighs, he hates this dilemma but he owes Keith this one. 

"But, if you want to make an exit, you should do so now," Lance warns. Both of them are drunk but Shiro is unmistakable with his white hair, scar, Altean arm and size.   
  
Keith moves out of his seat and through the doors of the ballroom faster than a bat out of hell. He may be fast but Shiro has already spotted him and pursues. 

  
Keith tries to sprint to an exit of the hotel but makes a wrong turn. He circles back and takes a different route, only to end up at the balcony of the hotel — a dead end. He wishes he was dead as well, looking down at the busy road below, mentally calculating how fast he'd be dead if he just jumped instead of enduring this situation any longer    
  
"Keith."   
  
It's too late. He should have jumped when he could. Better yet, he shouldn't have even come.    
  
Keith turns around slowly to face Shiro. It's been five years since they've seen each other, but it feels like it was only moments ago when Shiro got married to Curtis and Keith left earth.    
  
"Shiro," Keith answers. He can no longer hear his own voice. Adrenaline rushes through his veins and his senses heightens, as if he's ready for a fight. Maybe he should be.    
  
"Keith, I was just heading over to talk to you, then you left. Wow… It’s been so long. How are you?" Shiro asks. It's a simple question but it's loaded with emotion — from sleepless nights to thoughts in the middle of the day.   
  
"I'm good. You?" Keith replies, trying to keep his voice even. It threatens to break, which would trigger tear ducts to start, just as it has on long nights alone in his tent.    
  
"I'm okay, I guess. You look good, like, really good…uh, great," Shiro stammers.    
  
Keith knows he's had too much to drink from the way he can't balance himself. Shiro looks good, as he's always done. It makes Keith's heart hurt, becoming way more fragile than it already is. It transports him back to the night of Shiro's wedding, as if he's in a fever dream that he can’t wake up from and he has no choice but to follow along.    
  
\--------   
  
_ Keith knew he shouldn’t have been drinking. It was a bad idea in the first place, but he would have done anything to forget and anything to get away from the wedding reception.  _ __  
__  
_ He is the best man so he has to be present. His heart feels like a piece of meat being butchered at every second but he can only smile and say what needed to be said, pause at the right moments, nod even though he disagrees. Most importantly, he has to be who he needs to be.  _ __  
__  
_ But, as the night draws to a close, their relationship culminates at its final act, or, at least that’s what Keith had expected. They are on a balcony and Keith is nursing another whiskey. He'd lost count of how many he had but he'd continue as many times as it takes to forget the pain. He was never the person to drink to drown his sorrows but he'd do it just for tonight.  _ __  
__  
_ "Hey, I really appreciate you being here, even after everything," Shiro says from behind him.  _ __  
__  
_ Keith turns around slowly. "Oh, it’s nothing."  _ __  
__  
_ Nothing had split his heart into two, like his increasing distance from Shiro.  _ __  
__  
_ "Thank you too, for everything. And being so supportive of this wedding," Shiro continues. Keith can hear him take a step closer to him and holds his hand up, giving a signal to stop, as if they were on a mission.  _ __  
__  
_ "And also, for always being— " _ __  
__  
_ "Shiro, you should be getting back to your wedding party," Keith cuts him off. His heart is breaking and the alcohol is making his emotions more volatile than they are.  _ __  
__  
_ "If you're happy, then I'm happy. You should go back to your husband," Keith advises, his voice is ice cold. He's trying his best to believe exactly what he's saying.  _ __  
__  
_ "Okay," Shiro replies. He doesn’t push Keith. He knows when to draw the line because even when more lines are drawn, there's always space to draw more. It's something he's learnt over the last year. He hesitates, as he always does, but takes a step backwards.  _ __  
__  
_ Lance comes later to find Keith slumped over the balcony. He was the first to figure out that Keith was dating Shiro and the first to know about the start of the end of their relationship. He tugs at him but Keith is motionless as he stares down to the ground below him. It would get worse when he's sober so he decides that he has to do the right thing now.  _ __  
__  
_ "Lance," Keith says finally. "Take care of yourself and the rest, alright? I'll be with the Blade for a while to handle some… stuff. If there's an emergency, call me and I'll be back." _ __  
__  
_ "Keith, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying," Lance tries to reason with him. "You can think about it when you're sober." _ __  
__  
_ "Apparently, not drunk enough to forget. No, I've made up my mind about this. It will do me and Shiro some good, I think. That way, I won't get in anyone's way. Trust me." _ __  
_  
_ __ Lance can tell that Keith's mind is set and he's too stubborn to change it. He nods and lets Keith walk past him and out of the reception. 

_Keith considers looking back but doesn't, knowing that even if he did, nothing would change._   
  
\--------  
  
"You look good too," Keith admits, brutally honest. "You always have."   
  
Awkwardness settles around them as if that were its rightful place. Both of them stare at the ground before catching each other's eyes again. They laugh when it happens, just as they've done before, but there's something sad about it now.   
  
"I actually came here… to apologize. I'm sorry for what happened between us… It was all my— "  
  
"Shiro, stop. Please, stop. I'm gonna go."  
  
"Keith, I need you to know something. Please, stay, just for a minute." 

“I don’t think this a good idea.”

“Just give me a minute, please?”

Keith doesn’t know how to prepare for this situation because he had spent so much time thinking of how to avoid it. He bites his lip and says, “Fine.”   
  
"I’m sorry for everything, Keith. I’ve made such big mistakes in my life and losing you was by far the biggest one of all. Things have changed and I'm not with Curtis anymore. You have to know that what we had something. Keith, we can still go back to that. "   
  
Keith shakes his head, fury fills his mind like water filling a barrel that was already full to the brim with built-up anger, anguish, grief and tears. He glances at Shiro’s flesh hand and realizes that the silver band is indeed gone.    
  
"What? Like now?" Keith raises his voice, fists balled up at his sides. "And then what, huh? What we did last time wasn't good enough for you? We tried but we failed, Shiro. We failed and it's both our fault."   
  
"We both made mistakes, especially me… I know and I admit that but what about now?"   
  
"Why? Are you just jealous seeing me now? Or is it that you feel sorry for me? We tried, okay? I tried. We tried to make it work all those times when you were the Captain of Atlas and when I was the Leader of Voltron. But we grew apart, too far away for me to even reach you," Keith's voice breaks. The fire in him burns his eyes as they tear up, distorting his already broken view of the world.    
  
Shiro pauses, his mouth open and his jaw slacks. He reaches out to touch Keith, but Keith moves backwards instinctively.    
  
Words pour out of Keith, like his over-flowing tears.    
  
"That was the one mission we failed at, Shiro. We tried but we failed at keeping us alive. We were distant planets and we just couldn't orbit back to each other. I was glad that you were happy and that you found love. But everything was moving so quickly. We never got a chance to talk after that, let alone catch up. You never knew that I missed you — how I cried, forced myself to keep focusing on the mission, while you were there falling in love. I guess I deserved that too, for never being able to show how much you meant to me."   
  
"Keith, I didn’t know you felt that way. I would— "    
  
It seems that the party is quiet enough for others to listen to the intimacy of the conversation. Snot is dripping of Keith's nose but he couldn’t care less. It isn't a flood of feelings but rather, a tsunami of it.    
  
"You would have what? I couldn’t expect you to wait around for me. You needed to find your peace and your happiness. And I — I just needed to accept that."   
  
"But Keith, that’s where you're wrong."   
  
"I'm not. You know it's true Shiro. Don't lie to yourself."   
  
"You're right, but also wrong. That's what I thought that after getting married to Curtis and giving up exploring the universe, I would be happy. But I wasn't. Even if I reached to the ends of the universe with Curtis, I would have felt the same way. I wasn't happy because I wasn't with you. That's why I ended it, because being without you taught me that. It taught me that in the hardest way. Being away from you, that was the biggest mistake I've ever made… Because, Keith, if we're going to be completely honest with each other... I'm still in love with you and I don’t know how not to be completely and wholly in love with you."   
  
"Shiro…"   
  
"I'm done now. I'm sorry for this and for everything. But I needed to tell you after all those years, I was worried about what happened to you."   
  
"You were my best friend, Shiro. That's why it hurt me so much that that was how we ended. I didn't just lose my person in my life. I lost my best friend. You didn't even leave a message or made a call?"   
  
"I needed you to know this in person. I kept waiting… And waiting for the right time… ," Shiro says, his voice lowers as his eyes cast down, making them look like they had an oncoming storm inside. "And honestly, I didn't even know what I was waiting for. Tonight might be the last time I'll ever see you again."    
  
Shiro sighs, all his feelings culminating to this moment. "I know, Keith. I know how it must seem now," he says, stepping closer to bridge the gap between them — something he should have done a long time ago. "That's why I'm asking for forgiveness. We can try again… I'll try as many times as it takes. I owe you that and so much more, for everything I’ve put you through."   
  
"Would you really, Shiro?" Keith asks. His eyes are wide and sparkle with tears, which drip down his face, like traces of shooting stars. 

Shiro sees more than that, he sees clearly — for once, the entire universe is in front of him.   
  
"I would do anything — anything, at all, for you."   
  
Keith doesn't know how to react. He once thought he had enough rage to fill the oceans of every planet in the universe, but maybe, underneath the anger, there's hurt and also longing. He lets it sink as he thinks of all those nights he had questioned himself, of why didn't —  _ no, why couldn't _ they work out. 

But this could be it now. This could be the redemption — for both of them. Keith lets himself consider this. He turns away and breaths out, trying to find his answer in everything they've poured out of each other. He stares at the endless, wide sky. It’s a wonder to him that this is the same sky they used to stargaze at, which was what brought them together in the very first place. He knows he was wrong and so was Shiro. They've both made mistakes, and he knows if there's anything to fight for, they'd know now to fight for what matters most.    
  
Shiro waits for him but Keith doesn't turn just yet. His mind is too full but his heart is sure of what he wants.    
  
"Shiro, it’s all in the past anyway. I love you, I always have and I always will," Keith admits and turns around. He slides his hand into Shiro's and realizes that he had missed its warmth.    
  
"I'll always love you, Keith. No matter what."   
  
With his other hand, Shiro traces his fingertips along Keith's sharp features — something he told himself he'd never be able to do again after learning that Keith left.    
  
It is Shiro's hand that palms Keith cheek and rests gently on his neck. He leans in, faintly brushing his lips over Keith's.    
  
Keith is startled but accepts because kissing Shiro used to be a fever dream in the last five years. He tiptoes and pulls Shiro closer, but a little too hard as Shiro is unprepared and wobbles a little.    
  
They laugh, joy bubbling like a spring from their chest and Keith leans in more to taste Shiro's happiness.    
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me at Misttiique on [Tumblr](https://misttiique.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/misttiique).


End file.
